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I’m Patrick Beacham.

I have written four novels: “The Things That Are Thor’s” (for which I also wrote, produced and directed a promotional video); “Finding Shamoo” (available on Amazon.com); and, Slow Learner,” also here on Amazon. In addition, the last two books are “lavishly illustrated,” (a descriptive phrase I’ve always hoped I could use). In addition, I have just published “Pagan Worship,” which concerns Donald Trump and the entire Trump culture.

Too many short stories to mention, of course.

Two screenplays: “The Audience Strikes Back”; and “Eurydice.”

And outside the strictly literary sphere, a full-length feature film based on the first of the two screenplays, which I directed.

Author of The Things That Are Thor’s,
Finding Shamoo, Slow Learner,
and Pagan Worship.

Now Available

Pagan Worship

Growing up, David knew only a handful things about his father: that he had been a Mormon, but that he had started a small church, separate from the Mormons, which in time had become a very big church and that his father was called pastor or, increasingly, with the passage of years, master…

I have written four novels:
Pagan Worship, The Things that Are Thor’s, Slow Learner, and Finding Shamoo.

Pagan Worship

As a rule, children spend very little time thinking about their parents, unless a parent does something mean, or a parent does something nice. They are caregivers. Not people.
Growing up, David knew only a handful things about his father: that he had been a Mormon, but that he had started a small church, separate from the Mormons, which in time had become a very big church and that his father was called pastor or, increasingly, with the passage of years, master.

The Things That Are Thor’s

Publisher: Thorco Publications
Print length: 286 pages

“The Things That Are Thor’s” is a novel about a future, catastrophic energy crisis, the discovery of oil in Antarctica by Thor, the world’s largest and most nefarious oil company, and the use of nuclear-powered airships, designed and built by Thor, to bring the “blessed” oil to us.

At the same, however, the Soviet Union, with its own vast reserves of oil, is hoping to fulfill its long-held ambition for true and lasting conquest by demanding more than mere money for the life-saving substance the Russian juggernaut is offering us. Thus, the free world is caught between the jaws of a rapacious Soviet Union and the equally rapacious jaws of Thor.

Slow Learner

Publisher: Thorco Publications; 2nd edition
Print length: 278 pages

What would follow if, in 1969, a young man barely out of his teens went to Berlin and fell in love with a beautiful East Berlin girl? . . . And the girl was, in reality, a communist agent, working as a honeypot for the Stasi, East Germany’s notorious secret police? Would there be sex? Of course. And better than any our young man, Bill, has ever known. Better, and far more imaginative. And would the girl, whose name is Mia, reciprocate Bill’s love? Eventually, yes. In a powerful, and tragically self-sacrificing, manner. Conflict? Goes without saying. Because, among other shifts in plot, both MI6 and the Stasi are trying to recruit Bill, who speaks fluent German and whose parents are German. Sudden surprises? Yes, in the microfiche that Bill has been carrying throughout his journey, and which holds the secret to eternal life, a secret that everyone craves and that everyone involved would kill to procure. A poignant ending? Only two survive. And an even more poignant epilogue.

Finding Shamoo

Publisher: Thorco Publications
Print length: 470 pages

We nearly all of us would like to believe that we will go to heaven. And if we have a dog or a cat, we hope our dog or cat will go to heaven too. Finding Shamoo is the story of Pat Conway and his dog Shamoo, a black and white Australian Shepherd. When Pat dies of a heart attack and much to his surprise “awakens” in heaven, he starts on a journey to find Shamoo, who had died of cancer several years earlier. But if heaven – and whose heaven has he been assigned to? – is essentially benign, it is not without its own agenda for a chosen few. At first, however, Pat feels less chosen than unfairly persecuted.

For what possible reason does heaven seem at every turn to thwart his efforts to locate Shamoo? He only gradually realizes that there are certain obstacles within himself – why was he never able to make lasting sense of his relationships with Chelsea, Penny, Carol and Heather? – why could he never summon the strength to set aside his fear of rejection in order to learn how to write, or to write as others thought he should write? – that he must first overcome.